34 hours and one brokedown mess later....

I made it to Dar es Salaam, Tanzania at 1am.  This was supposed to be a 30 hour bus ride from Uganda to Dar, stopping to switch in Nairobi, Kenya which is crazy enough, but I figured, what the hell eh?
First bus was about an hour later than I thought it would be, I got on it and literally cringed.  Ok, fine, I'm in Africa, the second part is longer, bus is probably a little better....hahahhaha!  We get to Nairobi and about 5am, bus is supposed to leave at 6; 6:30 rolls around...7, announcement - your bus will be here in 20 min, 7:30 - your bus will be here shortly....and we finally leave about 8am.  The bus pulls up, you're joking right - it's totally shit, I'm thinking this bus is not gonna make it to Dar, but I'm in Africa and that's just how it is.  The seats were incredibly dirty (cringing again), but strangely there was plenty of leg room and they reclined nicely for sleeping without squashing the person behind you, um, cool.  We were barely outside of the city when, for some reason, we start turning around right after we pull off onto another road....um, wrong turn, wtf?  Mind you, this was like a crazy 18-point turn on a very small road (in a large bus) where either side of it sloped down to a ditch.  And, then the bus dies.  Awesome, yet somehow not surprised.  Driver and co-driver get out, then some male passengers....waiting, still no one comes back to tell us anything....then more passengers get off....a friend I met at the station tells me she thinks they're sending another bus for us.....NOT!  The repair truck shows up, after a long time and several tries it finally croaks to a start.  Yea/shit - it started, but that means we have to stay on this broke-ass mess of a bus, hmmm.  Oh, and the technician is riding with us the rest of the way :)
You know the sound your car makes when you're shifting gears and don't quite get the clutch in all the way - yeah, that's the noise it made...alot...and on a large bus scale...really reassuring.  Oh, and then we attempt to turn around again.  First, he goes backwards/sideways down this incline that actually makes it seem like the bus WILL tip over on it's side - even the Africans were worried, not a good sign.  We finally managed to turn around, but it was not pretty.  Enter the bumpy road from hell, that also feels like the bus will tip...thankfully this stretch did not last too long.
Next stop, border crossing, where they make you be in a big hurry to get through everything, only to wait for them to work on the bus for another half hour.  At this point even the other passengers are saying it will be a miracle if this bus makes it to Dar...and we are soooo behind schedule.  Showing up in Dar at 9pm, not ideal, but fine; showing up to Dar at midnight is very low on my priority list - especially by myself.  However, I did make plenty of friends on the bus that I'm fairly certain would not have let anything happen to me :)
We stop in Arusha at a gas station, which we thought was a quick snack and bathroom break, silly me.  After a bit we pull to the side of an entrance and suddenly there are a handful of guys up in the drivers area messing with the windshield.  Then there's some metal pieces, and a torch appears....really guys? we're ON the bus.  By the way, it's an older guy and two kids that look about 14, that start apparently trying to weld the windshield...? At this point I just start laughing and take out my camera because this has become straight comical; there's nothing you can do about it so you may as well just laugh.  The welding is not going well, then yet another guy shows up that seems to have a better grip on this business and takes charge.  He wants to bend these small metal plates, so how does he do it?  He places them on the buses hand rail and hammers them, duh, what else would you do?  Honestly, if I was this abused bus I would revolt too.

Driving along, horrible sound - like a metal panel has come off and bounced down the road.  Passengers - concerned, what WAS that?  Bus people - no reaction.  OK.  We pull off at a weight station - where they first adjust some of the passengers so we can pass - then we pull over and people are getting off the bus again.  Seriously? now what?  Oh, that noise...it was the tire!  We spend another half hour changing a tire, unbelievable.
Everytime we slowed down or stopped I was crossing my fingers that the damn thing would get going again, we did finally make it, against all odds.  Oh, and whenever it was accelerating it made this horrible jet engine noise, it's a miracle I'm not deaf now.
Spent the one night in Dar, walked down to the ferry port the next day and got my ass over to beautiful Zanzibar as quickly as possible.  It's been a bit rainy in the mornings the past couple of days, but it's all good.

I'llll be the-ere...

What's that from?  That's right, Baywatch!  They have Baywatch here, and I watched it, lol.Unfortunately this episode did not have Pam.  I have insomnia apparently, but last night I managed to find Sports Center, and realized I have no idea of what's going on.  And then there was the news this morning - all the tornadoes, shit!  Stacy are you back in Portland yet?  Please get out of Arkansas, same to anyone else I know in that part of the country. 

Amusing Conversations and Questions

Ugandan teenish girl: Hello, how are you?!
Me and Steph: Fine thanks, and how are you?
(this is the standard Ugandan greeting exchange - you need to ask how the other person is, the answer is always 'fine')
UG: Oh fine, fine.  You're American?
Us: Yes, we are.
UG: Are you born again? (strong accent, btw)
me to steph: uh, what'd she say?  steph: I think she asked if we were born again.  me: huh? seriously, like religion?  steph: yeah.
Me to UG: Um, sure. (trying not to rock the boat)

Now, this conversation has happened more than once, yes, we have literally been asked if we were born again or various other religion inquiries within 30 seconds of meeting someone.  My answer tends to vary, eventually I'll probably tell them I'm Jewish, or something crazy.  Religion is important to Ugandans, but supposedly they don't care what you believe, just that you're religious (haha, strike one for me!); however, we've mostly been asked about some form of Christianity. 

In the village where we've been doing the children's holiday (vacation) program, there is a young teacher we've made friends with, her name is Immaculate.
As we're having a conversation about weekend plans:
Imma: So, are you going for prayers?
Me: nope
I: Ohh, you don't go to church?
Me: nope.
I: ohh (laughing)
Now, really though - if you were traveling in a foreign country would you find a church to go to? where they likely don't speak your language? I think not.

Walking through the village with Imma:
I: So in your home country do you have houses like this? (referring to the mud, stick and other materials of the like, shacks)
Us: Um, no.  we definitely don't. 
Now, this girl is in university, so we're wondering if they never learn anything about other countries...?  I know she's seen American movies too...did you see mud houses in those!?

Watching the kids do activities:
Imma:  Do you have that in your country - shared labor? (referring to the children carrying their baby siblings)
Me: (laughing) hell no! we definitely don't have 5yr. olds carrying babies on their backs!  Typically only adults or older children would be allowed to carry someone's baby around. 
It really is crazy- in the villages the older (barely) kids carry around and care for the babies and toddlers all day.  I'm fairly certain I've never seen a 7yr old in the states even capable of this!

Convo with my wannabe Ugandan boyfriend (apparently he didn't want to be friends):
Him: So, I've been really giving what you said earlier a lot of thought (mind you, 'earlier' was like 45min ago), and I think I can and should be your boyfriend for your last week here. Seriously.
Me: (laughing) Uh, no. 

On the way home in the taxi:
Me: are you cold? why are you closing the window?
him: cold? no! .... you can't be cold when you're sitting next to a hot chick!
me: oh, very funny
him: no, really, there can't be coldness when there's hotness....you're not always getting to sit by a hot chick, blah, blah
I'm thinking: geez, call me a hot chick one more time and i am going to punch you!  Btw, he'd referred to me this way multiple times already, and it sounds really strange with the accent.  Clearly, my patience had run out for the day! ;)

Random guy on the street after we got Osama:
Standard greeting exchange
him: you're American?
me: yes!
him: Obama's your president!
me: yes he is
him: you got Osama!  Obama killed Osama!
Me: well actually, he didn't kill him, and the events to start this process started long before Obama...blah, blah...
Before I knew it I'd opened my mouth to start trying to explain this and immediately knew I should have just agreed and kept my mouth shut.  First, he doesn't care.  Second, he can't understand what I'm saying!  the only english he knows is: Hi, how are you, and Obama!

Music and Entertainment

*Disclaimer: I mean no disrespect to Ugandan culture or Gays with this post, it's simply observation and speaking in generalities, so don't flip out ;) *
Steph and I spent last weekend in Mukono to take a break and lay by the pool at the "mzungu" hotel.  Where we got sunburned, again, btw - that damn doxy!  Anyway - the music playing was like instrumental versions of 90's hits, for instance - Ace of Base, and the one and only - Macarena!  Awesomeness!
Celine Dion also seems to be quite popular here, go figure.  There is some sort of loudspeaker system here in Lugazi randomly playing music, and on more than one occasion I've heard Celine blaring over it; and not just any Celine, but TITANIC Celine!  And if that wasn't crazy enough for you, I've also heard music from Aladdin - yes Aladdin, the Disney cartoon.  Not joking.  I also got into a taxi one morning to the likes of Ms. Dion on the radio and actually started laughing - don't mind me, just the crazy mzungu over here.  Did I mention that all of the taxi drivers and conductors are men? (Side note time: I wonder if this has anything to do with the (what we would consider) rather feminine tendencies of the men here? They're typically pretty thin, have slender hands - which they make feminine gestures with, and hold hands with their male friends.  We actually asked our host mom about this, and she was like, "yeah, that's normal.  Don't you hold hands with your friends?  don't men hold hands?"  Um, no, typically we only hold hands with significant others, therefore men holding hands would signal that they were gay. Mind you gay is NOT okay here. On the flip side of this, the women are typically larger than the men, and have some serious, hard working man hands!  I don't know why they ever take any shit from their men, 'cause I'm pretty sure they could kick some ass!  end of side note)
Our house gets just your basic TV, a few channels; every once in a while there's something terrible in English, and if we're lucky we'll catch some news.  They seem to randomly play music videos - usually Ugandan - they are so budget, ridiculous and I don't know - 80's or 90's ish, it's often completely comical.  However, one morning we did start the day off with a little Michael Jackson, followed by Modonna, when the Ugandan morning show apparently started playing music videos instead of commercials - cool, I guess.  Speaking of the morning show - the hosts are awful, as are the hosts of most shows here, I'm constantly laughing at the unbelievable shit they say.  Oh, and the morning show has a segment that covers the headlines in the newspapers - literally they have all the newspapers and go through them on TV.....hmmmm?
The best though, is the soap operas. Our host mom has one that she aslways watches around dinner, so we watch with her of course.  What makes this special is that it's a Filipino soap opera, that has been dubbed in English, and then is narrated in Lugandan - it's a total cluster.  So we get some of the English, and then the narration will take over the scene; narration by a man, who will occasionally laugh at the drama - while he's talking.  It's nuts. 

I am thankful for my toilet and shower

Nice title right?
At the volunteer guest house in Mukono, as well as most of the volunteer placements, and other establishments and houses here - it's either a pit toilet or the lovely porcelain squatter.  These are not so bad once you get used to them, but really it takes a bit of practice before you become comfortable - er, less uncomfortable with it.  Oh, and the best part is the big cockroaches at night, I can't help but feel like they're gonna jump up and bite me in the ass!
So, I am very thankful that my placement has an actual western style toilet!
Now,  bucket showers - again, not so bad, especially since it's all cold water anyway - it's not like you're gonna stand under the shower.  Where the actual shower really comes in handy though, is hair washing.  I think we can be fairly certain that if I had to struggle with this mop in a bucket, hair washing would be a very rare occurance!

The 3 doors on the right, those are the toilets at the Mukono guest house.

To recap, dear friends and family, amongst other dirty things, I have now squatted over cockroaches - so....I do not ever want to be called 'prissy' again! ;)

The Mzungu Experience

I am a mzungu, which is technically a white person, however it's used for just about all non-africans here.  It's not meant to be derogitory, it's just what we are; and we are strange, foreign creatures to many people out here, especially in the villages.  You should see the looks on the kids' faces, sometimes you feel a bit like a zoo exhibit, and you are never incognito - never gonna happen!  Walking down the street is like your own private parade, kids literally run up to the side of the street, EVERYDAY as we walk by and yell "mzungu, mzungu, hi mzungu!"  Then you have to respond of course, we walk to town and back, at least once a day, smiling and waving and saying hi to people.  It's quite sweet, a little overwhelming and slightly embarrassing sometimes. It's mostly kids, but the occasional adult chimes in too.  It's mostly okay from the kids, but it gets a little overdone and annoying at times: for instance yesterday after spending all day in the rain and mud and trying to make it home without falling on my ass in more mud :)
On Saturday, the Bugandan King was in town to kick-off some soccer league, so we went down to take a look and see some soccer.  Haha.  We were the only two mzungus there and quite the spectacle ourselves.  First, the field had no seating around it, just a chainlink fence that people were standing 3 deep at - there was no chance of seeing the game, so we just stopped to take in and enjoy everything else:  guys playing drums with people dancing around, people selling souvenirs, the massive amounts of men sitting on the top of giant trucks - yelling at the game, and us (surprise!).  Then there was the kid that wanted to chat us up, and the other strange kid that was quite obviously taking video and pictures of us on his cell phone!  Then it became clear that the guy talking to me was buddies with this photographer, and I was like "you can please stop that now".  I mean, I know we're different and weird, but that was just obvious and awkward!
Oh, and thieves here get the shit beat out of them and then get stripped naked apparently.  (no, I didn't try to steal anything) While we were standing there, talking and being photographed, a mob came through that included police and people: the police trying to escort the thief out and keep him alive, while the people tried to attack him, and the control went back and forth - really nice. 
On the way out we stopped by the roped off VIP section because you could actually see a little bit of the game and the guy just held up the rope and ushered us right into the section - mzungu perk!  We got to sit in the grass in the shade and actually watch, but it wasn't long until we had kids all around us, practically in our laps.  One girl took my sunglasses off my face and put them on - kind of sweet and adorable.  Then the press walked by and actually stopped to take OUR picture....TWICE!  I felt ridiculous!